#9 – MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – DRUMMERS AND SNOWBUNNIES

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
2017-divider-line-blue-icyPINK SNOWBOARD PANTS AT BOGUS – m4w – age 33
Hi there! This was last Wednesday and you were with your dad I think. I thought you were very pretty and wanted to chat you up… but you were with your dad… mildly awkward. Anyways… you might have had a concussion and i wanted to see if you were on enough to go to dinner. Here’s hoping!!
***Okay, I’m not entirely sure how desperate a person needs to be but “you might have had a concussion” followed up by “I wanted to see if you were on ENOUGH to go to dinner.”

Really?? Sorry about your head injury but hey, how ’bout dinner anyway.

I suggest “Pink Snowboard Pants” zip down that mountain and never look back. If this guy is willing to take you with a concussion. I’m pretty sure he’d take you unconscious.
They make creepy crime shows about this guy. Just sayin’.
2017-divider-line-blue-icyRETARDED DRUMMER – m4w
Now that your fucking my best friend and apparently have been for some time, I can safely say you won’t be hearing from me again. You are exactly what I thought you were.
a sack whore.
***Not entirely sure how this is a “missed connection” but it certainly seems personal.

I wonder who the retarded drummer is.

Eh well. Looks like all of you are better off without each other or one or the other or..
Just stop leaving these notes. She won’t see them.
She’s too busy bangin’ your best friend.
2017-divider-line-blue-icyShort post due to technical difficulties.
– Printer, blue tooth, blah, blah, blah. –
I hope you’re all well. I’m hoping to get to your posts tonight.
I’m hoping I can get this glitch fixed!

Just sloppy weather today. Nothing major like they were saying unless their idea of major and mine are different. It rained, melted a bunch of snow, everything was sloshy, tonight it will freeze, tomorrow snow, then sun, then rain – REPEAT!

Be well folks!
Here’s to a week of wonderful weather ahead for all of us!
2017-divider-line-blue-icyMimi’s Craiglist dating tip of the day.
Find this guy. At least he’s honest.
dating-its-not-you-its-me2017-divider-line-blue-icyfeather

MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – PILLOWS, HITCHING & BURGER KING

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
bar dotsOVERLAND WALMART.. BUYING PILLOWS SUNDAY – M4W
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher.  And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
bar dotsEAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
bar dotsYOU WERE HITCHING ON BROADWAY A WHILE BACK – M4W (BOISE)
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
bar dotsBURGER KING WALMART – M4W
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
#getalife
bar dotsbar dotsNo “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.

The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!

What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…bar dotsfeather

 

 


“MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY” – This is why I don’t date

No need to look in the “Craigslist’s serial killer hunting ground” for today’s “missed connection” because this “missed connection” actually involved me!
And this is why I don’t date.
I went to ‘Home Depot’ to get some wooden dowels for my windows/sliding glass door because we now have some questionable, non-English speaking men living upstairs who have not undergone a background check per “move in regulations.”
I mentioned this in yesterday’s post.
As with most moments in my life, I’m in a hurry. I walk into ‘Home Depot’ with my list and measurements in hand. I stop and ask a cashier where the dowels are and tell her I’ll need someone to cut them for me. She says, “Oh, we have a saw station at the end of the aisle.”
I say, “Oh, well, I’ll need someone to do that for me. I’m in a bit of a hurry.”
She says she’ll send someone over to help me. Perfect.
Off I go.

– Keep in mind, I’m in a hurry.
I told the cashier I was IN A HURRY. –
I’m in the aisle. I spot my “helper.” I immediately start rattling off what I need and my helper just stands there looking at me. I talk fast so I’m thinking, a.) He didn’t understand me or b.) He was too far away to hear what I said. I repeat myself. Again he stands there looking at me. And just when I’m about to be a smart ass and say, “Hello, McFly” my helper starts moving his hands and motioning to his ears and mouth.
MY HELPER IS A DEAF MUTE!
Did I mention I was in a hurry?????
Fuck! – I show my list to him pointing to the length and the width I need, he, in turn, points to the dowels and the “saw station” – FYI, the “saw station” is a hand saw and some rulers.
Are you fucking kidding me right now???
I grab my dowels and head to the front of the store nearly running into another worker.
Thus begins my very own personal “missed connection.”
ME – (Shoving the dowels into the other worker’s face.) “Can you hear and do you speak?”
MC/missed connection (He chuckles.) “Well, yes I can and yes I do. What can I help you with?”
ME – (Holding the dowels inches from his face) “I need these cut. I’m in a hurry. Can you cut these for me?”
MC – “I can do that. What sizes do you need?” (I hand him my list.)

At the saw station he asks me what I’m using the dowels for. I tell him and we end up discussing  the crime rate in Boise and he tells me he’s a retired L.A. Detective.
He then proceeds to give me a million and one safety tips and questions the measurements for my dowels.
MC – “You know you want to make sure you get these long enough so that a person couldn’t stick his arm through the window and dislodge the dowel.”
ME – (Pointing at myself from head to toe.) “Detroit girl. I got it. And trust me, long before they got their arm through my window they’d be a dead man.”
He smiles. It’s a nice smile. He’s a handsome guy.
So, handsome MC with the nice smile finishes cutting the dowels and hands them to me and then, BOOM.
MC – “May I ask for you phone number?”
ME – (Taking note of his manners.) “You may ask but the answer is no.”
He stares at me. He has crystal blue eyes.
MC – “Why not?”
ME – “Well, Mr. Bold, did you miss the part about me being the Detroit girl?”
MC – (Smiling.) “Did you miss the part about me being the retired Detective from L.A.?”
ME – “Prove it. Where are your credentials?”
He stares at me again.
MC – “Where are yours?” (He smiles)
ME – “Seriously? Have you met anyone here in Idaho as mouthy as me, with an attitude like mine and a voice that sounds like “The Nanny,” who asked to see your credentials AND wouldn’t give you their phone number?” (He laughs out loud this time. He has a nice laugh too…)
MC – “Well, if you change your mind I’m here every day.” (Another smile.)
ME – (Dripping with sarcasm.) “Perfect. I’ll be back tomorrow.” And off I go to pay for my shit.
I go to the same cashier who sent my flippin’ “helper.” She says, “How did everything work out for you?” I said, “It didn’t. I tell you I’m in a hurry and you send me some guy that can’t hear and doesn’t speak.” She says, “Oh, that’s Carl. He reads lips.” I said, “Well apparently not these lips because he did nothing for me.” Then I hear laughing, that laugh. My very own personal “missed connection” laugh. I look up and my MC is standing up at the customer service desk listening to my every word, pointing at himself mouthing the words, “every day, I’m here, every day.”
I smiled at him, walked out the door and haven’t been back since.
And that, folks is my very own personal “Missed Connection Monday” post.
Here’s to a great week ahead filled with great smiles, beautiful eyes, and amazing laughter.

Missed Connection Monday – Walmart “Soul Mate” Edition

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist. Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
BEAUTIFUL BLONDE GIRL SUBWAY (WALMART) – m4w
I just moved here from Arkansas.
Me and my sis went to walmart to buy some things like always.
***And that’s all we need to know about this guy.
“I just moved here from Arkansas. Me and my sis went to walmart…”
– Can we just leave it at that and just assume this guy is an inbred jed cuz fucker? –
CUTEST GIRL AT WALMART (AUNTIEANNE’S) – m4w
I guess I was so damn ready but just didn’t know. I told you I had a dream about pretzels last night, and you told me I was lucky hah. I didn’t leave any feedback but you being a fantastic lady would you mind working with my dough-head for a night of adventure? MISSED CONNECTION – I WONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE FOR YOU TWO TIMES :}}
Met a friend outside so maybe it was right were I was needing to be.
***I’m not entirely sure what a “dough-head’s” idea of “a night of adventure” is but I’m pretty sure it involves duct tape and chloroform – oh, and pretzels!
WALMART PHARM TECH – m4w
I was picking up my prescription today at the Walmart on Overland by Roaring springs. When I dropped off my script o gave it to a very attractive Pharmacy tech named Ariel. I wanted to tell you how attractive you are. But didn’t want to make it weird or awkward in front of your coworkers. Anyway if this somehow makes it way to you. I would love to talk and get to know you better.
***Because this won’t be weird or awkward, right?WOMAN AT EAGLE WALMART – m4w
I didn’t get your name or info , when I got out my car you said nice shirt and at the time I didn’t think about it but I want to say more but didn’t. If you some how find this let me know what I was driving and the shirt I was wearing 🙂
***REALLY???? This is the stalker trigger?! -“Nice shirt.”
You didn’t get her name or info because it was a fucking compliment you moron, not an invite to a party.And they lived happily-ever-after…Happy Monday everybody. Here’s to a phenomenal week ahead!
If anybody needs me I’ll be out on the patio reading or at my sewing machine.
One thing’s for certain. I won’t be at Walmart!
Be well.