I’ve been sick. It’s contagious. You can read about the inconsiderate asshole I caught it from here. And ya’ know, the more I’ve thought about it the more I’m convinced that we learned this inconsiderate behavior in kindergarten. Seriously.
I blame kindergarten.
Sharing is a big deal in kindergarten. There was a whole list of things to share in kindergarten.
***Share your crayons.
***Share your paste. – I’m old. –
***Share your paints.
***Share the swings, the teeter totter, the jump rope. Your bat, your ball, your mitt.
Yeah. Thanks, kindergarten.
You should’ve had a list of things you DON’T share.
Here, let me help ya’ out with this one.
Top of the list????
***Don’t share your fucking germs!!!!
***Don’t share your cold.
***Don’t share your flu.
***Don’t share your diarrhea.
***Don’t share your ringworm.
***Don’t share your pinkeye.
***Don’t share your fucking lice!!!
I’m pretty sure parents everywhere would appreciate my list.
What they won’t appreciate?? Missing work to clean up shit and vomit from every member in their household including themselves!
Fortunately, I think I’m on the tail end of this “bug.” It’s moved to my ears and I’ve still got one stuffed nostril and one runny nostril. I’m thinking about shoving a tampon up the runny nostril except what happens if I pull it out and then that nostril is all stretched to hell and doesn’t go back because I’m fucking old and your skin doesn’t bounce back like it used to in your 20’s/30’s??? Then I’m stuck with one big ‘ol, floppy Kevin Bacon, cannon sized nostril!
Not even kidding. Kevin Bacon has the biggest fucking nostrils ever.
See?? GIANT nostrils!
Here’s how you can do your part and not be an inconsiderate asshole during cold and flu/snotty “bug” season.
If you can, stay home and get yourself/child better.
Cover when you cough/sneeze.
Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands.
Make sure your kids cover when they cough/sneeze and that they wash their hands too!
It’s soooooo important.
Kids pass this shit around like it’s a joint at Woodstock! Everybody gets a hit whether you want one or not!
Schools and daycares are one giant petri dish of all things contagious.
I’m not saying spray your kid down with Lysol but ya’ know…. You spray them with ‘Off’ in the summer time..
It’s a thought..
Mimi’s quote for the day –
I’m pretty sure Johnny was in the grocery cart the other day blowing snot bubbles.