I’ve been sick. It’s contagious. You can read about the inconsiderate asshole I caught it from here. And ya’ know, the more I’ve thought about it the more I’m convinced that we learned this inconsiderate behavior in kindergarten. Seriously.
I blame kindergarten.
leaves barSharing is a big deal in kindergarten. There was a whole list of things to share in kindergarten.
***Share your crayons.
***Share your paste. – I’m old. –
***Share your paints.
***Share the swings, the teeter totter, the jump rope. Your bat, your ball, your mitt.

Yeah. Thanks, kindergarten.
You should’ve had a list of things you DON’T share.

Here, let me help ya’ out with this one.
Top of the list????
***Don’t share your fucking germs!!!!
***Don’t share your cold.
***Don’t share your flu.
***Don’t share your diarrhea.
***Don’t share your ringworm.
***Don’t share your pinkeye.
***Don’t share your fucking lice!!!

I’m pretty sure parents everywhere would appreciate my list.
What they won’t appreciate?? Missing work to clean up shit and vomit from every member in their household including themselves!
leaves barFortunately, I think I’m on the tail end of this “bug.” It’s moved to my ears and I’ve still got one stuffed nostril and one runny nostril. I’m thinking about shoving a tampon up the runny nostril except what happens if I pull it out and then that nostril is all stretched to hell and doesn’t go back because I’m fucking old and your skin doesn’t bounce back like it used to in your 20’s/30’s??? Then I’m stuck with one big ‘ol, floppy Kevin Bacon, cannon sized nostril!
Not even kidding. Kevin Bacon has the biggest fucking nostrils ever.
See?? GIANT nostrils!
leaves barHere’s how you can do your part and not be an inconsiderate asshole during cold and flu/snotty “bug” season.
If you can, stay home and get yourself/child better.
Cover when you cough/sneeze.
Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands.
Make sure your kids cover when they cough/sneeze and that they wash their hands too!
It’s soooooo important.
Kids pass this shit around like it’s a joint at Woodstock! Everybody gets a hit whether you want one or not!

Schools and daycares are one giant petri dish of all things contagious.
I’m not saying spray your kid down with Lysol but ya’ know…. You spray them with ‘Off’ in the summer time..
It’s a thought..
leaves barMimi’s quote for the day –
I’m pretty sure Johnny was in the grocery cart the other day blowing snot bubbles. leaves barfeather

15 thoughts on “I BLAME KINDERGARTEN

  1. Gilly says:

    Yes isn’t sharing GREAT! πŸ˜‰And those mums that go for the 100% attendance record at ANY cost – shame on you all!

    I never did subscribe to this sharing bull-crap. Whenenever I hear some mum going on about ‘we must share our toys, we have to be KIND to each other’, I’m like, “Where are your car keys? I fancy a spin round the block in your brand new Mercedes/VW/Ferrari/Jaguar – whaddya mean NO? Sharing is NICE!”

    I always told my boys that if they didn’t want to share their stuff it was fine – just put it away until the kids have gone home – they only shared stuff they where comfortable sharing. And I kept them home when they had bugs because I detested the school system and their stupid rules anyway! (And my boys did just fine – they have good jobs now but somehow, they fell into the ‘sharing is nice’ trap and I cringe when I hear them telling their kids to share). So where ARE your car keys?

    Hope you are feeling better!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. S. J. Qualls says:

    One year my son got a perfect attendance certificate – he hadn’t been sick for school at all.
    Sharing … pencils, paper, colors – I think I supplied all of his friends!

    It does sound like you are on the mend. Yay!

    Liked by 1 person

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