“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher.  And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
bar dotsEAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
bar dotsbar dotsNo “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.

The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!

What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…bar dotsfeather




  1. Comedy Plus says:

    Oh brother. These are some losers and then some. I love reading about these losers though.

    Sorry about the fire that has you all choking and in need of carpet cleaners. Good grief you’ve had enough of fires this year.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. S. J. Qualls says:

    I frequent the personals just to get the laughs. I read some of them to a friend of mine and she couldn’t believe people put stuff like that (and worse) on the internet. I loved your responses! The help wanted ads are occasionally funny too, like guys wanting to hire a maid who will have sex with them as part of the job. LOL! Lots of fruitcakes out there!

    Sorry about the smoke and fires. Won’t your carpets still smell like smoke if you have them cleaned before the smoke has dissipated? Nice to know somebody’s temps are winding down. Think it may be a bit yet before ours will.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lily says:

    Oh my lord! That family picture!! The daughter looks like she already knows where she’s going to bury the knife, and the son is going for a practice run.
    FYI, a bit of spittle just hit the screen at the whole women getting their sexy on/mopping/loading the dishwasher part. I know, I is so classy.
    Just what I needed after such a crappy night.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Angel Stew & Devil's Brew says:

      Hahaha. I know Lily. Isn’t that pic the best??? Hahahaha. AND THE GUY WATCHING THE WOMAN PUT PILLOWS IN HER CAR??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I’m serious. If he’s willing to put some serious cash in my sweatpants I’ll be all kinds of sexy for him while I get my shit done. WHAT.A.MORON! – I’m sorry about your crappy night.😦 I’m going to a pain specialist tomorrow. If they prescribe anything that is helpful I’ll let you know. Might help you too.❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lily says:

        LOL! If he finds domesticated sexy, he should see how I spread that bedsheet.
        Good luck with the pain specialist. And if you do find something that works for you, I’d dearly love to know. xx


  4. Joanne Earle says:

    How many women actually troll Craigslist hoping that some guy was trying to find them? I’m gonna guess zero. lol I’m going to get the pumpkin spice cheerios though! YUM!!!

    Liked by 1 person

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s