MISSED CONNECTION MONDAY – PILLOWS, HITCHING & BURGER KING

“Missed Connection Monday” is brought to you by your local Craigslist. These are real “love notes” that strangers leave for other strangers in the ‘Personals’ section of Craigslist.
Or as I like to call it –
‘Your local serial killer hunting ground.’
bar dotsOVERLAND WALMART.. BUYING PILLOWS SUNDAY – M4W
If you were buying big pillows Sunday at Walmart on Overland and Cole.. Wearing shorts.. And You put them in the trunk of a white car.. Please email me. You may not think you are but I think you’re incredibly sexy.
***First of all presumptive asshole. Maybe she not only thinks but knows she’s incredibly sexy.
And second, this is it? This is what YOU find sexy? A woman putting pillows in the trunk of her vehicle?? Holy shit there are women across the world getting their sexy on every day! You should see me load the dishwasher.  And the way I mop a floor? Oh baby. You’d need some serious cash to stick those dollar bills in my sweatpants! – Freak.
bar dotsEAGLE RD., GRAY SUV – M4W
Your license plate is from “N” county. Your absolutely gorgeous. You wave at me all the time and have a great smile. I’m intrigued about you. Tell me what I ride so I know it’s you.
***I’m gonna’ go out on a limb here and say, your ride is the bus…
bar dotsYOU WERE HITCHING ON BROADWAY A WHILE BACK – M4W (BOISE)
You and “your brother” we’re hitchhiking one night.. I’m still not single, but would have taken advantage of you given the chance. You were both pretty wasted it seemed like. But I took you to your car after we dropped him off. You were parked at a bar on Vista. If you see this let me know what color your hair was. I think you were driving a grey car.
***Translated this means, “I didn’t have the balls to kill you the first time around. C’mon, if you see this, gimme’ a second chance to show you the real psycho that I am.” – Dumb, dumb, girl.. I hope she does NOT see this and if she does that she’s smart enough not to answer this sociopath.
bar dotsBURGER KING WALMART – M4W
I’ve been in a few times and we’ve talked. I can’t get you off of my mind. You are a very sweet and kind person. You have the most beautiful eyes and I would like to spend more time talking to you. I know you will never see this, but if you do message me your name and where you are going to work.
***Not to burst any bubbles or anything but that’s her job jackass. She talks to people, usually saying things like, “Would you like fries with that.” Seriously. That’s not a pick-up line.
#getalife
bar dotsbar dotsNo “missed connections” here today. and apparently no going outside either.
Holy shit. We just get over the triple digit heat to where we feel like we can venture outside without collapsing of heat stroke and then some jackass has to start a fire at the recycling plant over by the airport! Which, SURPRISE, is RIGHT BY US!
We sleep with our windows open and we all woke up in the middle of the night with headaches. At first we thought our building was on fire! Talk about being scared shitless.

The carpet cleaners are coming at some point this morning, we’re happy to get the carpets cleaned but not happy about the fact that they have to leave the door wide open with that hideous smoke permeating the valley.
On the plus side, our temps will be dropping into the 70’s soon and maybe if we don’t have anymore, eye burning, choking, fucking fires, we’ll actually be able to get out and enjoy it!

What’s on tap for you folks today? Anything thrilling and spine chilling to report??
I can’t believe we only have two days left until September! Wth??bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
It’s that time of year…bar dotsfeather

 

 


TOUGH TITTY TUESDAY – CALM DOWN BABS

TOUGH TITTY TUESAYbar dotsbar dotsYa’ know. Some people would bitch if they were hung with a new rope.
Apparently, Barbra Streisand decided that there wasn’t enough important shit going on in the world. She had to pick a fight with Siri.
Siri? A computerized assistant? Yep. That’s the one.
For those of you who aren’t up on who Siri is and what she does, you can read about it here.
Siri is an Apple app that talks to you, much like your GPS in your vehicle.
So ‘ol Babs doesn’t like the way Siri says her name.
(Anybody have a tissue?)
Seriously. Not even kidding. A computerized, robotic assistant on your phone or iPad and Barbra Streisand is bitching about her.
                     (Picture stolen from CNN.money.com)bar dotsLong story short. – And you can read the full story over at CNN Money. – Barbra Streisand does what any one of us would do when we don’t like the way Siri says our name. She calls the head of Apple and bitches to him about it and pussy that he is, he tells her he’ll get right on it and make sure that Siri – not a real human being folks – pronounces Barbra’s name correctly by the end of Sept.
Are you fucking kidding me?
If only she’d used her “star power” to call the governor of Louisianna to find out how big of a check she should tell Siri to write out to help the flood victims!
But no. Clearly, it’s more important that some computerized assistant pronounce her name correctly.
bar dotsIf I were the head of Apple and ‘ol Babs called me to bitch about something so incredibly trivial. Guess what I’d be telling her???
That’s right – TOUGH TITTY BABS!
bar dots
Apparently, you do Babs otherwise, you wouldn’t be bitching about Siri.
bar dotsTOUGH TITTY TUESDAY “TO DO’s” –
**Sew
**Sew
And…
**Sew!

We’re getting a break from the triple-digit heat. Only in the 80’s all week and that’s a huge relief. If it’s not too smoky I’ll take lit’l Miss Luci up to the trails tomorrow morning. She got groomed today and it wiped her out.
bar dotsHappy ‘Tough Titty Tuesday’ folks!
If you could call up the head of any company and bitch, who would it be and why?
I’d call McDonald’s because ya’ know what? I think they’ve been in business long enough that they could have figured out how to make a lid for their flippin’ cups that doesn’t cause the entire drink to pour down the front of your shirt every time you try to take a sip!
bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
bar dotsfeather

IT’S CALLED SHABBY CHIC

bar dotsIt may be called “shabby chic” but I call it shabby shit and Craigslist is filled with shabby shit.
I’m not a fan of painted wood. I’m just not. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me and then to go that “extra mile” and make it look even shittier by scuffing it up in places?
Yeah no.
Unless said “shabby chic” piece came out of a 100 yr. old farmhouse and was originially painted by great-great-great-great Grandpa Joe? – Just say no.
Seriously? This is just a chipped up old table with a shitty paint job.

And whoever is responsible for this hideous Pepto-Bismol makeover is an idiot. My grandma had this set and the wood underneath this atrocity is absolutely beautiful.
bar dotsAnother word people throw around when they’re trying to sell shit on Craigslist. “Vintage.”
I call it vintage vomit.
Okay, first of all, “super cute?? No.
Second. Seriously? “NO HOLDS.”
I’m pretty sure people aren’t  lining up n’ taking numbers to get this gem.

Another piece my grandma had. A whole set actually. Again, the wood underneath is beautiful. Morons.
bar dotsI totally get that some people like this look and even go out of their way to personally achieve it. But on antiques or super cool retro pieces?? Just say no. Step away from the Martha Stewart kool-aid and just say no…
This whole trend just isn’t for me.
My taste in wood is much like my taste in people. I prefer natural beauty.

SIDE NOTE: If you’re really trying to sell something online or otherwise.
DON’T use grandpa as a selling point. Nobody wants to smell like grandpa.
“This fragrance reminds me of a beloved grandpa, after a shave and haircut at the barber shop! Heart notes of amber and rum with a light top note of musk and Bay make this irresistible!”
(A random post from somebody selling a bar of soap.)
bar dotsBUJO 411 (Excerpts from one of my bullet journals)
**No more triple digit heat. All week temps in the 80’s. I can live with that.
**5 wildfires out of control. None are close. The smoke is blanketing our city. Air quality zero. Lots of people wearing masks.
**Pup to the groomer.
**Get one Christmas quilt done.
**Finish current read.
bar dotsYour turn to weigh in. What say ye’?
Shabby chic or shabby shit???
Vintage or vintage vomit?
bar dotsMimi’s quote for the day –
Find something beautiful today. Embrace it. Appreciate it. Accept it.
And smile.
Happy Monday folks!
bar dotsJoining Corinne over at ‘Everyday Gyann‘ for #MondayMusings and you can too!
Just click on the link!
Mondaymusings-1
bar dotsfeather

TOUGH TITTY TUESDAY – It’s Okay To Laugh, Really It Is..

TOUGH TITTY TUESAYI’m with ya’ Mr. Eastwood!
Our society has become so tight-assed that EVERY move, comment, thought, photo, etc. must be placed under a microscope of  those who decide what is and/or what isn’t, “politically correct,” funny or socially acceptable.Someone should write a book. In fact, write a few of ’em.
You know, like this guy.

Here are some suggestions –
Wouldn’t this make life so much easier?
We’d all be on the same page.
Void of intelligence, choice, personality and seemingly, most important, void of a sense of humor.
Recently, comedienne – keyword, comedienne – Ellen DeGeneres posted this pic of her and her friend, Gold medalist Olympian, Usain Bolt.
When I saw this pic my first thought was, “Wow, no kidding.” My mind did not immediately go to anything racist or degrading or unjust. I saw the humor. The humor intended by the comedienne, Ellen Degeneres.
Which, FYI, I’m pretty sure she probably ran this photo by her friend, Usain Bolt, before she posted it.
The backlash and comments that ensued because of this photo are mind-boggling.
TO THE COMMENTERS AND THOSE “POLITICALLY CORRECT” ASSHOLES:
Tough Titty!
This is a funny pic of two friends and nothing more. If I had a friend that fast, black, white, purple or green, I’d wanna’ be piggybacking him around too!
Side Note: If you have a Twitter account you can view the tweet and all comments, here.
If not, CNN has a post, here.

What say ye’ my good people? Is this photo offensive, racist, politically incorrect??
Or did you, like me, just see the humor.
My plans for this “Tough Titty Tuesday” include NOT leaving my house because of the triple digit heat. I will most likely be sewing, reading and catching up on my ‘CSI’ seasons on Hulu and then switching over to HBO Now to finish up season #6 of ‘Game of Thrones.’
What’s on tap for your ‘T.T.T?’
Stay cool or warm, and to my peeps in the south, stay dry and safe!
And remember to laugh a little. It’s okay. Really it is.
Mimi’s quote for the day –
bar dotsfeather

DO YOU WORK HERE?

Every time I walk into a store, and it doesn’t matter which store. I get asked at least 3 times, “Do you work here?” Not even kidding. I can be in the lightbulb aisle all by my lonesome and somebody will come along and say, “Excuse me, do you work here?”
Staring at the wall o’ paper towels, “Uh, do you work here?”
Picking out strawberries. “Um, can you tell me where the paperclips are?”

It’s fucking annoying and makes me question my choice of outfit for the day, and that’s fucking annoying.
No. No, I don’t work here and no. I can’t tell you where the fucking paperclips are located, scattered, made.

So, before the bazillionth person asks me, “Do you work here?” Lemma’ break it down so that there can never be any confusion ever again.
CLUES THAT LET YOU KNOW I DON’T FUCKING “WORK HERE”
1.)
I speak English.
Don’t give me any flack on this one because you all know it’s true. Nine times out of ten, when you can actually find a store employee to ask them a question, they BARELY speak English.
FYI, the name tag with 28 letters in their first name. That’s a dead giveaway.
I wrote about them in this post, ‘The Store We Love To Hate.’

2.) Am I wearing a vest of ANY kind of any color?
Lemme’ answer that for you. That’s a big fat NO! No, I’m not. Why? Because I NEVER wear vests. Not for anything or anytime for anyone.
Me + Vest = Not fucking happening.

3.) Am I wearing a “Tim Allen” DIY apron of any color and did you find me standing at the end of a light fixture aisle or toilet aisle?
No. No, I’m not and no. No, you didn’t. Why? Because the only place you’ll find me wearing an apron is in my own fucking kitchen and ONLY during the holidays.
You may find me at this aisle. I won’t be wearing an apron though.
Chances are, I won’t be wearing anything at all.

4.) Am I wearing a name tag, khakis, a green, red, blue, or black shirt with a company logo of any kind on it and is there a 10ft lanyard hanging around my neck with another name tag and 100 keys?
No, no, and no???
Then guess what the answer is boys and girls…

5.) And the number one clue that lets you know, I don’t fucking work here?
If you saw me PICK SOMETHING UP (work) AND PUT IT BACK WHERE IT ACTUALLY BELONGS (again, work)….
Don’t ask..
Becaaauuuuuusssseeeeee…
I DON’T FUCKING WORK HERE!In other news – Zip, zero, nada. Been busy sewing and beating this heat which is finally cooling off into the 90’s and that’s okay by me! It was so windy last night I thought a storm was blowing in but nope. It’s Idaho. We rarely get storms but we do have fires and I don’t even want to think about what that wind did to those.

I’m going to get my hair cut today and run some errands.
Happy Wednesday!

Mimi’s quote for the day –
feather

TOUGH TITTY TUESDAY – MCDONALD’S

TOUGH TITTY TUESAYApparently McDonald’s, after a bazillion years on the planet, has now decided to make healthier food?
Yeah, I know. They’ve been doing it gradually over the years with the addition of salads on the menu and apples in the Happy Meals, oatmeal in the morning but now? Now they’re messin’ with the McNuggets.
Back off McDonald’s. Them’s fightin’ words.

According to CNN Money, “…as of Monday it’s chicken nuggets and several breakfast menu items no longer have artificial preservatives. And McDonald’s plans to eliminate high fructose corn syrup from all its hamburger buns by the end of August.”
CNN goes on to say, “Artificial ingredients have been targeted by consumer advocacy and regulatory groups raising flags about health risks.”
SERIOUSLY?
Is there somebody on the planet that didn’t know this???
NOBODY goes to McDonald’s or any other fast food joint because they’re fucking healthy. They go because it’s disgustingly loaded with all of those artificial ingredients and grease and sodium and anything else that makes fast food taste so delicious.

TO MCDONALD’S – Stop fucking with the food. Ya’ know you can get a 10 pc. nugget at ‘Burger King’ for a buck 49 AND they added ‘Mac n’ Cheetos’ to their menu.
They don’t give a shit about health risks.

TO THE HEALTH NUTSTough Titty!
Eat someplace else!
I’m not big on fast food but it’s certainly convenient when you’re out late and you don’t feel like going home to cook. Or, hey, we all get those cravings for whatever fast food we happen to like best. Lately, Burger King nuggets have been my “go to” fast food choice. They taste way better than McDonald’s McNuggets and you get more bang for your buck. I don’t like Burger King’s drinks tho so I’ll head down the road to McDonald’s and grab a sweet tea or stop at a gas station and get a bottle of water.
SIDE NOTE:  If you haven’t tried the ‘Mac n’ Cheetos’ at Burger King, you need to. They’re yummy.

What’s your favorite fast food joint? Whatta’ ya’ get?
You know I’m a nosey bitch so I wanna’ know.Happy “Tough Titty Tuesday! What’s going on in your lives today that makes you wanna’ shout TOUGH TITTY!feather

MISS DAZEY DRIVING

I can’t be alone on this.

RULES FOR RIDING IN MY CAR
1.) Wear your seatbelt.
If I choose not to wear mine, that’s on me. I’ll risk the ticket. I won’t risk the ticket for your ass. Nor will I be held responsible for you catapulting through my windshield in the event of an accident.
On the flip side of that, I won’t be held responsible if you’re wearing your seatbelt and get trapped inside my vehicle. That’s between you, your surviving family members, your insurance, your attorney, the state and automaker.
Not it.2.) All body parts are to remain inside the vehicle at all times.
I don’t go back for lost hats, shoes, flip flops or twirling things that look cool.funny honk if a kid falls out3.) Don’t touch the radio.
I don’t walk into your home and change the channel on your t.v.
Don’t get in my car and start flippin’ through the stations.
My vehicle. My music. Oh, and an addendum to the whole radio thing.
This.4.) Don’t touch the AC/Heat.
If you’re hot/cold let me know. I’m not an asshole.
I’ll cool you off or warm you up but if it’s already balls hot in my vehicle and you’re still cold I suggest you layer.
If you can hang meat in my vehicle and you’re still hot. Unlayer.
Be happy I have both. It could be worse.
5.) Much like the state parks – If you carry it in, carry it out.
This means any and all fast food bags, drinks, candy wrappers, gum wrappers, straw wrappers, game/cd/dvd wrappers…
YOUR WATER BOTTLES…
Please, and thank you.
6.) You’re the food prepper.
If we go through a drive-thru your job is to put the straw in my drink and unwrap my burger – half way, not all the way. I don’t need a bunch of shit falling down the front of my shirt – and hand it to me.
On the trips that I choose nuggets instead of a burger I suggest you choose something you can eat with one hand because your other one will be holding my nuggets and dipping sauce.
And be prepared with a million napkins.
See, I’m not alone. These girls get it.
7.) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
– If I have a drink in my drink holder –
DO NOT EXFOLIATE YOUR ARM ACROSS THE TOP OF MY FUCKING STRAW REACHING FOR SOMETHING OR WHILE YOU’RE TRYING TO ADJUST YOURSELF IN YOUR SEAT.
Do all of your reaching and adjusting before we’re rollin’ down the road.
8.) Don’t start sorting through your purse, backpack or wallet while I’m driving.
We’re going to the fucking store. You’re not moving in.
Exactly!

9.) Wear deodorant.
DO NOT WEAR “AXE”. You’re not a 12 yr. old boy lookin’ to get laid.
Do not bathe in your cologne/perfume. You’re not a 7-Eleven/Mobil gas station owner.
Take a shower and call it a day.
10.) My vehicle doesn’t run on “thanks for the ride.”
If I’m heading into town or you’re somewhere along my travels and you need to hitch a ride. Cool. But if I’m taking time out of my day to pick you up and drive you to the other side of the state?
And you can forget the ass and grass but fabric might work. – Just sayin’..What about you guys? Any rules for people along for the ride? I know you’ve got some and I wanna’ hear ’em!

Happy August 1st! Who can believe this year has flown by so fast? Halloween and Christmas stuff is already up n’ on sale around here.
I have to say. I’m not looking forward to the cold and gray skies of winter but a break from the never-ending heat would be nice. If it could stay spring and fall year round that’d be awesome. Throw in a few 80-ish degree days for tanning purposes and then be done with it.
Oh. And the sun must shine always unless we’re getting a phenomenal thunderstorm which never happens here.
So yeah. Sunshine every day would be nice.
I hope wherever you are the weather is being kind to you. I hope people are being kind to you too, and you to them.
We need more of that.

Mimi’s quote for the day –
life kindnessfeather